1. Ensure there is a noticeable awkward silence and lack of eye contact whilst you wait for all participants to join the meeting.2. Create obligatory small talk* because someone is 10 minutes late.
3. Ask everyone if they can hear you before realising your mic is still muted.
4. Begin to talk, before a lag in connection ensures you are interrupted at least twice.
5. Take quiet, normal breaths that transpire into loud, heavy wheezes.
6. Ensure you have asked everyone at least once if they can see your screen.
7. And finally, embrace the long, drawn-out, 2-second period between saying goodbye and ending the meeting.
Daniel, DMS Custom Install* Small talk topics available upon request